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Sunday, January 25th, 2009
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Thursday, October 30th, 2008
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i have some news in the fact that i got the library job :)
and also ive made some new songs which you can listen to at www.myspace.com/someonehasitsonlyme
hope everybody is good and i think thats me spammed my internets quite enough now.
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Comments: Add Your Own.
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Saturday, August 16th, 2008
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ive got an interview to be a library assistant in glasgow! :D
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Comments: Read 6 or Add Your Own.
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Wednesday, July 16th, 2008
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"despair, like absurdism, prefers to consider everything in general, and nothing in particular"
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Comments: Read 5 or Add Your Own.
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Wednesday, June 4th, 2008
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| Time: | 10:32 am. |
| Music: | lsd and the search for god. |
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I HAD A DREAM last night that when i got off the train there was a massive grizzly bear and it was sort of walking about and then all the kids got scared but i was going to my papas house andit sort of followed me and i got a bit scared when it came up to the door but when it did it just asked me "dont be scared, i just wanted to know if you have any opera magazines" and i went in and searched really hard but i couldnt find any.
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Comments: Read 4 or Add Your Own.
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i was just deleting stuff on my old ranch pc and i found my SSL from high school. It was on 1984 and I didnt read it. so this is an essay about what i imagined 1984 was.
points to note:
i thought it ended all happy and uplifting in he beat the government.
i always ended my essays with "i recommend this book to anyone" or "you can get a lovely copy from borders, its on sale" or something. i am a born salesman, with the gift of the gabber.
use of words like enigmatic and perversion. POW!
( english is my first language )
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Comments: Read 3 or Add Your Own.
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Tuesday, March 11th, 2008
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i applied for a masters in library and information studies at strathclyde today. its funny ive been moping about it for ages and today I was like fuck it, ill email them. i dont really have much going for me so I was like fuck it, i sent this email about how i'd like to be a librarian (every ounce of my soul type deal) thinking fuck it, ill just let them know how much i want to do it. i thought i was emailing the actual course guy but it turns out he has secretary(who'd have thunk it?!?!) and i get like an automated response. i was sort of relieved because i felt a bit embarassed about it, embarassed in a good way. because usually i think about the consequences, and i just think "fuck it" . i guess ive had a bit of a "fuck it" attitude for a while now. and i think its better. i also have a bit of "a thought riddled nature" as Lawrence of Arabia put it(read colin wilson's book "the outsider" its absolutely spellbinding btw) which stands in direct opposition to the "fuck it riddled nature" as ricky of the shire is(and once) put it. sometimes i think about things so much that i start to think that ive precalculated everything, that my life is like a play that has been rehearsed you know? like i think about something, and then i think about thinking about, then i start to think about why i think about thinking. i start to feel like ive gone through every possible permutation of a scenario, which I guess you could call stepping in every single parallel universe that can spring from the step, apart from the parallel universe where im not thinking about anything, or the infinite parallel universes where im thinking about the infinitely many different things i coudl have been thinking about. damn you infinity! but you know what i mean? i dont know. so yeah, i try to adopt the "fuck it" attitude. the more instinctual way. i try not to give myself time to think, trust my instinct. Im reading another colin wilson book called "the directory of possibilities" and in the introduction he talks about the right brain left brain theory(the book is a good few years old i think so its not like an up to date account of neurological studies or whatever, but its interesting) and he says that like, what I consider "me" is all contained in my left brain, when someone says my name
and i go "yes" thats because my left brain tells me to. and as we involved and our environment became more complex our "self" was more and more confined into our left brain. that leads to the idea that everyone is sort of half a person. or that we are all, to an extent, mildly schizophrenic or something. i dont know ive only read it once so far. but its sort of been proven on tests on people with brain damage or people that have undergone brain surgery to combat epilepsy. in these patients the link between the left and right brain has been damaged, and they do this test where they show a person a colour in their right eye(which i supposed to be controlled by the left brain, although colin says that that isnt technically true but he doesnt explain so lets just assume it is) then you tell the patient to write what he saw down with his left hand, he blushes, and then he was asked why he was blushing and he said "he didnt know" but then it talks about if we could learn to release the power the left brain has over the right brain, the analytical over the instinctual then we could be much more like "complete" or something. also that we sort of experience this "completeness" in moment of like complete instinct, like when we are about to die or something, and the "survival instinct" sort overcomes left brain dominance or whatever and just "does" i guess thats like the state i'd like to live in, like everything is instinct. not like in constant fear of my life or something lol but just you know "there" instead of kind of feeling removed from everything through "thought" like im watching my life up on the tage and its been rehearsed or whatever. i guess just to feel that connection.
but yeah.
things i am liking right now are the john cardiel episodes on vbs, that guy is so rad. mahler's symphonies and i was liking twin peaks until that peice of shit finale. i mean i know it got cancelled but fuck you david lynch.
oh and pop over to my music myspace and add me if you wany. www.myspace.com/someonehasitsonlyme
im waiting for some proper recording equipment but whatevz.
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Comments: Read 11 or Add Your Own.
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| Time: | 6:25 pm. |
| Music: | cocteau twins. |
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i'm getting really into my running recently and i'm starting to get this niggle in my foot when i really pick the pace up and it's making me despair a little because it's the only thing i've got going for me these days. i had shin splints for while and had to stop which i got quite upset about because when i don't run i hate myself and want to die. or not.
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Comments: Read 6 or Add Your Own.
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| Time: | 9:47 pm. |
| Music: | yo la tengo - tom courtenay. |
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i just bought things off the internet for the very first time. i bought
scenes from a marriage
the secret life of walter mitty and other peices
subway/le femme nikita
together.
how bold! 4 things!
i made a bag and i painted the words "i am bag." in big letters on it. i repainted my EAT tshirt. if anybody wants me to paint things on their clothes just ask. i also do kids parties/weddings/bar mitzvahs and things.
i think its amazing when you see somebody with a big beer belly and their jumper fits over it perfectly.
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Comments: Read 5 or Add Your Own.
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Saturday, January 27th, 2007
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Sunday, December 17th, 2006
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| Time: | 9:13 pm. |
| Music: | cacoy. |
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don't people think it's funny how the final of XFACTOR turned into westlife versus take that? and takethat won. yay!
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Comments: Add Your Own.
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Wednesday, November 15th, 2006
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| Time: | 1:44 am. |
| Music: | ryoji ikeda & carsten nicolai. |
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............,,,,,,&%:;;???!!!--""""""""""''''''''
you construct the entry around the punctuation ive givn you. you must use all the punctuation provided.go.do it. no really.
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Comments: Read 9 or Add Your Own.
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Friday, October 27th, 2006
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| Time: | 12:23 pm. |
| Music: | james blackshaw. |
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tenniscoats = absolute pure amazing brawness
yeahimoknotbeenuptomuch
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Comments: Read 3 or Add Your Own.
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Monday, October 9th, 2006
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| Time: | 11:01 pm. |
| Music: | yo la tengo - damage. |
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i want to play on the slide in tate modern. and also the trees sounded nice today.they were all like shshwwshshswhsh and i was all like :O:O:O:O:O:O:O:O and the little violins were all like wowwenneneowwowwowow and the baby swans tears were all like ploplpoploploploploploplplop. yes they did.
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Comments: Read 9 or Add Your Own.
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Saturday, September 30th, 2006
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OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD
JONATHAN RICHMAN IS PLAYING THE ORAN MOR IN OCTOBER!
GLASGOW!
WHERE I LIVE!!
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA BEAUTY!!
edit. god must have rad my last post coz grizzly bear are playing at the end of november :)
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Comments: Read 8 or Add Your Own.
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Wednesday, September 27th, 2006
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after my ABISMAL(sp?) performance last year ive sort of got this reputation of being an absolute fucker! YAY!!
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I GOT UP today at 8am and thought id maybe goto the gym before my ELECTROMAGNETISM lecture but i got up at 8(to my vredit) but felt like a zombie. SNOZZERS. FIDDLED with the guitar for a wee while and came up with a possible song for the BAND. which i dont know but i will present it to ian with GRAPHS and PIEHARTS and a stunning buisness plan and maybe he will like it. and maybe he wont/ did anyone see the comedy lab the night before last? there was this really good show called "fm" it was really funny and was about an indie radio station getting taken over by ESSENTIAL fm. kind of made me think of green wing but in a radio station rather than a green wing.
I dont know much about the comedy lab but apparantly they play pilot episodes of lots of shows to get a response from the DEMOGRAPHIC or something. well i am demo and i am graphic and i gave it TWO thumbs up.
another thing has anyone ever noticed the the letters KC like EVRYWHERE?! kc accidental king creosote kaiser cheifs kc and the sunshine band and there are more but i cant remember them just now. its spooky.
is anyone going to casiotone for the painfully alone tonight? and then maybe art school afterwards? or maybe just art school? or maybe staying in and playing chess? and talking about our favourite book or films or music? or maybe you can just sit and listen to me get UNBELIEVABLY nervous and do nothing and say thing like "HAVE YOU HEARD THIS 1?"
grizzly bear's album "yellow house" is BRILLIANT! they should play glasgow soon.
i used to be a much nicer person, i think.
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Comments: Read 19 or Add Your Own.
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Sunday, September 24th, 2006
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Comments: Read 5 or Add Your Own.
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| Time: | 1:20 pm. |
| Music: | yaya herman dune - my girl. |
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i am working a new song and it's called "when sadness is a potato, make chips"
ps i realise that "make mash" would better but i dont like mash.
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Comments: Read 16 or Add Your Own.
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sombrero fallout by richard brautigan is a really good book. in fact. one of the best books. its about this writer who writes a story about a sombrero that falls out of the sky. or at least he writes the first few lines of it. and then bins it because he's too sad because he's split up with his girlfriend and that is what makes him sad. the story decides to continue on without him inside the bin. and the book is basically the two alternating stories of the reletionship troubles and also about this sombrero that falls out of the sky taking place in the bin. it is the most amazing book i have read for a very long time. but you might read it and think its not the best book of all time. you may read and think it is the worst book of all time. which is fair enough.
if i have phoned any of you while drunk at earlier hours of the morning drunk then i apologise for that. i hope i didnt spoil any dreams that were amazing. unless you were dreaming about being woken up by a drunk a person. which would be kind of nice. because i was making your dreams come true.
i have sort of been sitting around in my flat doing nothing. or thinking. thinking about nothing. which is sort of doing nothing. so if anyone would like to hang out or something let me know. i am not the most fun person to hang out with because sometimes i dont say much and other times i say too much and sometimes i can be embarassing or sometimes i can be awkward. so i am inconsistent. and there is nothing worse than an iconsistent person. except maybe a cruel person. because you dont know whether to phone me or text me and ask me to come out to do something because i might be quiet awkward person. or chatty embarassing person. but you should try. because i am really lonely. which is my own fault i guess.
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Comments: Read 21 or Add Your Own.
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Wednesday, May 31st, 2006
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sometimes i consider treating life as one big joke and making everything silly to the point where you have taken all meaning in everything and diluted it to stupidity. because if it's silly then you don't really have to feel sad about it. like kind of looking on the brightside but in mammoth proportions because everything is the brightside. and if there is a darkside you've made a joke out of it and lightened it up. because if you have more dark things than bright things you might feel a bit sad and maybe even think you're a bit pathetic. so you take these dark things and brighten them up. i guess chasing after this way of life you sacrifice doing anything truly profound or of great meaning. apart from maybe making somebody smile from time to time. because i guess if you're kind to people then you you can't really expect anything except maybe them being kind back. don't be cruel. maybe if you play the fool then nothing is really expected of you except to play the fool. and it may annoy some people, maybe some people who want you to be something or know you as a young kid full of potential and with bright things ahead but you have decided on not really wanting to be anybody or anything. so sometimes someone may laugh in your face or mock you to their friends about your shoes or the way you talk or how your jeans are tucked up at the bottom like some band or something. but you've set up this system where you can't really be mocked in any sense because you've made your own life a mockery. so it's just like a drop in the ocean or something. but against all this i guess it's like admitting defeat or a waste of life or something. not living life to the full or whatever. but against that it sort of is living life ot the full because you've broken down any barriers that may have stood in your way before. rejection, mockery , ego or whatever. so you're free to do things that other people would consider weird or not normal or stupid.but i guess it's all just naiveity and tomorrow i'm going to feel sad when the ned calls me gay or the guy shouts something offensive out of his car or i get threatened or an offensive glare or something. but then maybe the next day i'll give a girl on a train a letter or write nice things in chalk somewhere or sing a stupid song or jump up when everybody sits down or get people to stand on my shoes. humiliating yourself is a lovely way to connect with people.
plus i think i might delete all you people from my friends list because you write what you're thinking much better than i do. but then i don't really mind do i because ive accepted im crap :(
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Comments: Read 23 or Add Your Own.
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